I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
