I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
