SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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