im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
