She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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