I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
