It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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