I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
