There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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