Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
