Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize