I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
