dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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