we made out on top of his cat.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
