I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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