My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
