I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
