And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
