when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
