I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
