We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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