Please, let me fuck your mom
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
