I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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