Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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