He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
