we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
