Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
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