We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
