that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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