btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
