We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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