So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
