I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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