:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
