After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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