ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
