wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
