Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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