so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
