This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
