Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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