i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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