So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
