This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
