I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
When are your genitals available?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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