the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Randomize
