My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
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