Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
