so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
