just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
