Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
