She is in my trunk
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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