fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
