I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
