I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
