i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
