Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
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