Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
