Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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