I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
