I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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