Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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