So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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