it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
