Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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