I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
