i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
