the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
