2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
