also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There's always time for handjobs
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
