So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
