i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
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