dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
