I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
