You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
