Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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