glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
